Are You A Derailer?

By Karen Jones | July 18, 2021

When I went back to school for my Executive Coaching Certification after 30+ years of practicing psychotherapy, I had the privilege of studying with Renald (Relly) Nadler, Psy.D. I have found his book, Leading With Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On Strategies for Building Confident and Collaborative Star Performers (2011) an indispensable resource. The other day I was perusing my library with a particular question in mind stemming from issues arising with a small corporate client: What do employees (team members) want? Relly’s book provided some interesting answers (pgs 72-73):

Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans in their study, Retention and Engagement Drivers Report had 7,655 respondents. They found the top reasons people stay on the job:

Exciting work and challenge = 48.4% of respondents
Career growth, learning and development = 42.6%
Working with great people and relationships = 41.8%

That information led me to question, what goes wrong when these reasons are not met? That led me to Relly’s Derailer Detector. I’m reprinting it here so that readers may take the assessment. You can refer to pages 75-77 to consider the full use of the Detector. But for our purposes, answer the questions for yourself to get a bird’s eye view of your own derailment tendencies. Consider each statement and its frequency in your behavioral repertoire at work/in your business. Make it a priority to consciously change those behaviors/attitudes that derail both your better self and your colleagues.

Smartest Person in the room syndrome. Has to be right all the time, married to own ideas, and not open to or distrusting of new ideas.
Lack of impulse control. Emotionally reactive, volatile, abrasive, and follows urges to an unhealthy extreme.
Drives others too hard. Micromanages and takes over rather than delegates.
Perfectionism: Sets unrealistic goals, rejects criticism.
Defensive. Blames others, is inflexible and argumentative.
Risk Aversive. Lacks courage and confidence to take risks.
Failure to learn from mistakes. Same kinds of mistakes show up.
Lacks insight into others. Can’t read others’ emotions or reactions.
Doesn’t ask for feedback. Misses opportunities to include others for better decisions.
Self-promotion. Attention-seeking, overlooks others’ accomplishments for own recognition.
Lack of integrity. Not honest with self and then others; omits and minimizes.
Failure to adapt to cultural differences. Does not change leadership style appropriately.
Indirect with others. Does not deliver the hard feedback or make the difficult decisions about people.
Approval dependent. Needs too much approval before making decisions.
Eccentricity. Unpredictable and odd in behavior.
Mistreats others. Callous, demeaning, or discounting to others or their needs.
Self-interest. Acts in self-interest instead of the interest of the whole organization or larger group.
Insular. Disregards health and welfare of the group outside responsibility of own team.